It seems a shame that we remember the faithful departed as those who are dead and whose souls reside somewhere else - but not in this world. All Souls day is the day the church remembers these souls in some way or another. Our theology and churchmanship will alter how we respond to the departed. We might, simply, remember them quietly or offer a mass for their wellbeing and ask then to pray for us as we pray for them. Needless to say this is one of those doctrines which divides the churches. It’s a debate I don’t want to take part in. Or certainly not to blog about it. Others who are better qualified have written about it.

As a spiritual counsellor I’m interested, rather, in those who have left their church or faith community - for whatever reason. I shall call these people the faithful departed. All too often it is “the faithful” who leave. We all know members of our congregation whom we wish would leave! Mrs Brown who was raised on the book of Common Prayer, always attends eight o’clock Communion and has no time for these “new fangled” ideas like a Family Service or Parish Communion. Equally we all know folk who consider their priest to be under dressed if he (or, heaven forbid, she), is not wearing a full set of vestments. These stay, come wind or weather, and are often powerful beyond their role in a congregation.

This is before we consider those who leave on theological grounds, be they those who find it impossible to accept a woman priest, consider homosexuality a greater crime than murder or who no longer find it possible to recite the creeds without crossing their fingers - and their toes.

The Clash asked “Should I Stay or should I Go?” And commented 

“If I go there will be trouble

And if I stay it will be double.”

I know from my own experience the trouble one can cause by staying and asking all the “wrong” questions. There are the obvious ones like questioning the Genesis creation stories, some of the Jews' behaviour towards other tribes, the 10 Commandments allegedly written by the hand of God. Not to mention the Virgin birth of Jesus, the feeding of the 5,000 and turning water into wine. This before we question Jesus’ divinity and his ascension into Heaven where He now “sits on the right hand of God the Father.” These sorts of questions are all too often unwanted because they disturb the peaceful slumber of the faithful. As the American film producer, Brain Glazer put it “Curiosity - asking questions - isn’t just a way of understanding the world. It’s a way of changing it.”

My work as a spiritual counsellor is about helping folk who feel they are asking all the “wrong” questions. To ask about the meaning of Life. To ask if it is possible to go to church and struggle with the language and ideas. To stay or to go. As Papaji put it “Whatever comes, let it come, what stays let stay, what goes let go”. Easier said than done sometimes!

So where does that leave our “faithful departed”? In a vulnerable place - susceptible to guilt, anger, depression and feeling in limbo. They no longer feel that they belong in church - or would be welcomed if they stayed. They haven’t yet necessarily built up a network of friends outside of Church. It’s a lonely and dangerous place.

As a spiritual counsellor my work is to help you find your way through this new world. I won’t judge you. I won’t ask about your chakras. I won’t read the Tarot for you. I will listen with my whole being - with my spirit as well as my mind. I will help you find your truth - which hopefully will sustain you in this new place.