By now i should realise that so much of what happens when people come to see me happens at the edges. I prepare my den as best as possible. Dragons are not the most fastidious of creatures, it must be said. When one lives as long we do, it is easy to overlook the odd foible here and there. Over time i’ve tried to make the place look homely. No more pin ups of scantily clad elf maidens. Hide away the old suits of armour. Sweep up any old bones. Find at least one chair that suits my visitors. Generally do all the things the manuals say one should do. ((I recently came across a tome that gave the exact angle at which the chairs should be placed. And the distance between them. What is the world coming to? In my young day we were grateful not to be eaten by another dragon. Never mind being made to feel welcome! I’m getting old, clearly.) So, I make my den as comfortable and welcoming as I know how.

So what happens when people come to see me? Do the carefully placed chairs help then relax and talk about profound matters? Their psychic conflicts from their birth trauma? Their troubling dreams? no. What touches my visitors is being told to wait for two minutes. Or my finishing a session abruptly. Or being invited to sit down whilst I get ready. I sometimes wonder why i waste my time on arranging the chairs “just so”. Or finding “appropriate” pictures if these are all ignored. But as I am learning, it is what happens at the margins that touch so many important feelings. Having to wait a couple of minutes is a terrible reminder that I am separate from my visitors. That they are not the most important person in my world at that point. Being invited to “take a seat” can trigger furious rebellion. “Who are you to tell me what to do? I’ll stand. Thank You Very Much.” Finishing abruptly sends a visitor straight back to childhood and never feeling they were given enough time. All painful memories that we talk about. In my comfortable, clean den. With suitable furnishings. And the correctly places chairs. Maybe i should scrap all these trappings. Just make my visitors wait. And finish abruptly. We could use the time in between to talk about the weather. Or the new football season.

Think of the time and money I could save that way…

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