Depression is hard work. It can feel like walking through mud wearing lead boots. Everything seems difficult, from getting out of bed in the morning to getting to sleep at night. (Which always feels unfair! You’ve waded through another day without killing yourself or anyone else. Then you go to bed hoping for a rest and what happens? There are several ways things can go. You spend hours trying to fall asleep. Still reading that novel after at least five hours of tossing and turning. Or falling asleep quickly only to be awake at three in the morning watching the dawn arrive. Another long day faces you.)

I won’t try to list the possible causes of depression. We’ll be here all day if I try that! Usually it has its roots in feeling inadequate. Being a husband or wife and living with a constant feeling that we’re failing. We shout at the kids, snap at our partner and generally become obnoxious to those who matter most to us. (That just compounds the depression.) It’s not a great place to be.

So what helps? Talking with someone - preferably a professional who won’t throw your comments back at you. I’d also suggest an anti-depressant - Prozac or one of that family helps no end. They don’t fix the underlying issues but help you get back into life, which is no mean achievement!

Who to talk to? In some ways, it doesn’t matter. The main thing is that you like and trust this person. Some ways of counselling match some personalities better than others. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is good if you like a very structured approach often with homework exercises. Its basic assumption is that depression is a problem with thinking. (Back to that feeling of being a failure.) A CBT counsellor will ask you to reframe that “failure feeling". For example, suggesting that you tell yourself three positive things about yourself before you go to bed. Thus setting yourself up for some positive thinking the next morning.

Another major branch is psychoanalysis or psychodynamic counselling. This is my way of working. Here your counsellor will be much more free ranging with you. They will say less and allow you to talk more. We won’t give you exercises or ask you to keep a diary of your thoughts. We will invite you to talk about your whole life - from birth till now! We’re interested in your dreams and what they might tell us about you - things you may not know or have been aware of before your dream. If you're a “free floating” kind of thinker, this work is for you. 

These aren’t the only models of counselling. That list is long. But this blog gives you somewhere to start looking.

If you would like to see me, contact me on my website www.aylesburycounsellor.co.uk or on 07931 500783.