A friend commented on this picture that he found the colours a delight but couldn’t distinguish between Jacob and the Angel! It’s a fair comment. It almost renders this blog irrelevant! That’s the point of the picture and the story. Who is wrestling whom and for what? The word “angel” means Messenger. We may understand “messenger” in many ways. But always they demand our attention. Be they the messenger from Amazon at the front door or the messenger that is our dream. But we do well to pay heed to them.

We aren’t told why this angel appears when he does. Nor why. But Jacob has enough wit to take his chance when presented with it. I don’t think he intellectually knew why he was wrestling this messenger. But being who he was, he saw an opportunity and took it.

This “seize the day” mindset occurs in therapy much of the time. Jacob and the angel wrestled all night, with neither party giving up. So a number of my patients have to struggle to get a new name. (After his night of wrestling Jacob comes away with the prize of a new name. Jacob the Deceiver and Trickster becomes Israel, Triumphant with God. He can hold his head high, knowing that he has earned his new name legitimately.)

Whilst writing this blog, several of my patients come to mind. I think of Marie Claire (not her real name) who saw me for about two years. I dreaded the sessions. Each time I was left with a sinking feeling. Why are we doing this? It’s awful. She isn’t enjoying it. Nor am I. But for two years we wrestled. Then near the end of our work, something changed. The wrestling stopped and was transformed into a dance. We spent three happy months enjoying the new pattern and rhythms. She left with a new name. So did I. Between us we prevailed. At the end I asked her why she had stayed. “Because there was nowhere else to go. It had to work.” We both left that encounter changed people.

Fortunately not all my work is so challenging. Many of my patients come for a much shorter time. And there is work to do. But it is of a different kind. There was Mike, who was trying to repair his relationship with a God who seemed indifferent to him – like his father had been indifferent to him. Or Tina who was in danger of failing her course because she never submitted a completed portfolio of her work. She left after a relatively short time with an understanding of why she did as she did. And with a completed final portfolio.

I could add more names, but I won’t. This is a blog, after all. Not “War and Peace”! I like to think that both Jacob and the Angel were changed by their meeting. It’s certainly true in my experience. My patients leave changed. So do I. And that’s the point of therapy and counselling. That there are two of us in this struggle. As Freud put it “Out of your vulnerabilities will come your strength.” We don’t hear what the Angel thought about his encounter with Jacob. But we do know that Jacob walked with a limp for the rest of his days. A permanent reminder of Freud’s maxim.