After a very long wait, Eeyore finally had an appointment to see a psychiatrist about his depression. (He didn’t know he was depressed. He thought he was just Eeyore. And Eeyores are prone to be a bit gloomy. 

But Pooh, Christopher Robin and Owl had all decided that he was more than a bit gloomy. 

“We all have gloomy days. Even me.” said Christopher Robin. 

“And me.” said Pooh. “But I just hum a happy hum and I feel better. Of course, hunny helps as well.”

“I don’t think Eeyores eat honey” said Eeyore. “But thank you for thinking of me. Not many people do.“ 

Christopher Robin nodded. “That’s just why we think seeing a psychiatrist would help you. He could help you think positive thoughts.” he said with a smile.

“Why would I want to do that?” asked Eeyore. 

“Because… because… because…“ tried Pooh.

“Because people who think positive thoughts live longer. It’s a well known scientific fact.” said Owl.

“No one ever told me about that.” grumbled Eeyore. “I can’t change how I think. Besides, I wouldn’t recognise me if I thought differently. I wouldn’t be me anymore. I’d be somebody else. And I don’t want to be somebody else.”

Owl sighed. This wasn’t going as he had anticipated. He thought Eeyore would have been pleased to be taught to think differently, to think positive thoughts not negative ones, to see that his glass was half full, not half empty. He’d said this once.

“But Eeyores don’t use glasses. Hooves aren’t made for holding things like that. Besides,” Eeyore continued, “knowing me I’d probably drop it and it would break. Then there’d be no glass at all.”

Owl thought explaining that the glass was a metaphor. But wisely said nothing. Simply nodded.

So it was that our friends arrived at the hospital with an appointment to see Doctor Sajiv. After nearly an hour’s wait they were collected by the doctor who apologised to them and explained all about government budget cuts, poor staffing levels and the dire state of the NHS. 

“But never mind all that. Which one of you is called ‘Eeyore’? You young man?” he looked hopefully at Christopher Robin.

“No. It’s my friend here who’s Eeyore” smiled Christopher Robin, “We think he’s depressed and want you to make him better. Please.” 

So Eeyore and Christopher Robin followed the doctor. Down a long windowless corridor until they came into a small windowless room.

Eeyore was shaking his head in a worried fashion.

“Can we go back, now, Christopher Robin? I’m worried that somebody might steal my home whilst I’m here. I know it’s not much of a home, but it’s the only one I’ve got. And I’d hate to lose it.”

Christopher Robin was about to ‘Say Something’ about Eeyore being anxious but wisely didn’t. 

Instead he said “Don’t worry Eeyore, I’ve asked everyone to go round and look after it for you.”

“Oh.” said Eeyore uncertainly. “I do hope they’ll look after it. It may only be a pile of sticks to some people, but to me it’s my home. And I should hate to have to build another one.”

Before Christopher Robin could answer, Dr Sajiv had moved some books and papers off two chairs and invited them to sit down, which Christopher Robin did. Eeyore just stood where he was. (Didn’t this doctor know that Eeyores aren’t built to sit in chairs? For a clever man, he thought, he’s not very bright. But being a well mannered creature he said nothing, but stood quietly, waiting to see what would happen next).

“So tell me, Eeyore, how are you” asked the doctor.

“Not very.” replied Eeyore

“Not very what?” asked a slightly puzzled Doctor.

“Not very how” replied Eeyore. “Not very how at all.”

After 50 minutes Dr Sajiv cleared his throat, looked at Christopher Robin and Eeyore and shook his head. ”I don’t think CBT will be of much help. Have you tried your local vet?”