I’ve come across this image of a monkey trapped by its own stubbornness a number of times, particularly in my clinical work. I remember one man who came for counselling. He was off sick with depression, anxiety and insomnia. As part of my assessment interview I asked a question about his childhood. There was a long pause and he began telling me about how much he hated his father for always bullying him and humiliating him. As he spoke he was crying. “I’ve never told anyone about this before” he said. “It’s just too painful.” I saw him for another session the following week and he was again tearful and sad. By the end of the session he looked and sounded a little less distressed.I was hopeful that we could work together towards some healing. He rang me during the next week to cancel his counselling, telling me he couldn’t bear the pain any more and had asked his G.P. to increase all his medication, which they did. And whilst i was aware of how painful his memories were, I was left feeling that for him, holding on to his pain was more important than letting it go. He simply wanted something to numb the pain than to risk letting it go. I suspect that he is still held back personally and professionally by his past. But that this is a trade off he is prepared to make.